If You Want to Be A Better Writer, Go to Therapy
Hey creators! I was going over my outlines and wondering why I was stuck. Something was holding me back. But what was it?! I knew I had to delve deeper into my characters, and so, I did a deep dive back into Shonda Rhimes’s MasterClass, but was still missing something. Then, I distracted myself with TikTok, as any halfway decent creative does 😌, and ran across a therapist who had her client really sit in her traumatic event. As she was discussing this concept and what she said to her client, I came to the realization (I have to go back to therapy, y’all) that I don’t allow myself to sit in my feelings fully. I channel them into writing, I eat them, I work, I numb them with a screen…but very rarely do I really just give myself that time and space to be anymore. Maybe I never did. We just want the bad feelings to go away, and that’s human nature, but it’s definitely a trait passed on by our parents who don’t hold that space for themselves, and very often, don’t hold that space for us. And that’s not to blame them, but to explore the reasoning behind why things have come about and why we (I) are (am) the way that we are.
When it comes to writing, I have always used it as a way to explore my own feelings, mental health, ideas about society, and imagination. The psychology of telling a story and generating empathy with a specific character has always intrigued me and I found myself using my writing to better understand the world around me. I can empathize with someone who has wronged me or a loved one, or even have conversations that I wasn’t able to have, and speak my peace. As I’ve grown into a woman in my 30s and into my own writing voice, I see that I want more depth, not only in my life, but in my storytelling. I want my audience to always feel deeply. I want them to be wrecked by the heartbreak that their character is experiencing or the euphoric joy of falling in love for the first time. I want to break when the character loses the one thing they have always wanted, but in order to do that, I also have to be willing to lead a big life. The life I have always dreamt of. And that life vision is fluid. I’m allowed to picture something new for myself in a different season. And so are you. We owe it to ourselves to create the big life and live it out. To love and to lose. To grow and to break, revealing a better and stronger version of ourselves every time. To take chances and to fail. That’s what epic stories are about and those are the only stories that I want to tell. I know I said I need to get back into therapy, which is true, but this is my therapy. Art is healing and grounding. I feel the most connected to my Source. I feel the most connected to others. Most importantly, I feel the most connected to myself, and I deserve to be the most authentic version of me because I have stories to bring you. God gave me this gift for a reason, and as I become, I see more and more how it’s meant to heal and bring people together. If this is also your gift, I encourage you to use it to do the same for you and yours.
